Redefined
In the Supreme Court, arguments were being heard in what could be the case that finally solidifies marriage equality from sea to shining sea. In that discussion, as with most debates about the issue, there were multiple iterations of the concern that a ruling in favor of marriage equality would redefine the institution. I can think of many reasons why this is an asinine objection. You could question how the court would be redefining anything in this case, considering they already established the federal definition in the last case of this kind that sat in front of them. You could mention that every religion would still reserve the right to define marriage for their own purposes, without forcing others to redefine their own meaning of the word. And you might recognize that a changing definition is historically common for this institution and we are all the better for it.
Marriage is not the monolithic institution that so called “traditional marriage” supporters claim it to be. Within the Bible alone a marriage could be between one man and many wives, not to mention concubines. But this also overlooks the reality that even when a marriage was between one man and one woman, it was not what we now understand a marriage to be. It was a property transaction between the father of the bride and the groom, wherein ownership of the woman was the key matter. We are all the better for having redefined marriage before, within the Western context. In the broader scope of marriages in the world, there are still many places where marriage is not between two consenting adults, leave alone whatever gender. Arranged marriages are still quite common in certain parts of the world, and the age of consent in others is quite a bit lower than we would accept here. This being a way of saying that what we define as marriage is rightfully a reflection of our own moral understanding of the world, and whenever we see that our definition of marriage is degrading to the people involved or the institution itself, we should redefine it, or rather let it be redefined.
Language is an ever evolving thing, and the definitions that were used generations ago will not be the same as those used generations from now for many words. This is a natural process, but just like the enemies of marriage equality, I also have to put my foot down on certain redefinitions. It’s too late for some words like “awful,” which once literally meant something that fills you with awe. In its original context, a god was not awful because it was bad but because it was glorious and inspired terror. Sometimes you have to recognize when the tides have turned against you, especially when it happened centuries ago, but that’s not to say we shouldn’t fight a very different corruption of definitions.
Boycotts, protests, peaceful assembly: these words used to mean something. It meant a group of people, who recognized the inadequacy of the status quo, would use peaceful and self-sacrificial means to propose a better alternative. The people carrying out the Montgomery Bus Boycott were sacrificing their time and money by actively avoiding a service that was discriminatory. The people protesting the undemocratic, communist regime of the People’s Republic in Tiananmen Square sacrificed their education and in some cases their lives just for the hope of reforms. The people who peacefully assembled across India in the 1940s sacrificed their own security and personal prosperity to defeat a colonial power. The greatest failures of any of these were the people who waited at the fringes to muck everything up.
You can judge just how weak an argument is by how violent its supporters get in spreading it. If the idea is strong it will be compelling and win people over on its own merits, but if you have a piss poor idea then you need to use war, terrorism, vandalism, and any other form of violence to scare people into pretending it’s a good idea. The peaceful protests that go on in the aftermaths of the deaths of Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Freddie Gray, and more are the full definition of civil resistance, among the most powerful weapons for positive change in the world. They address the real problems that confront people of color in America through calm but pointed protest. Unfortunately they are given a bad name by a select group of people who have become so disillusioned with the world that they can only think of destruction, and sadly these people are redefining that noble idea of protest.
Right now on Google, the first word that succeeds Baltimore is Riots. This is the frightening image given to the legitimate protest, as now all people can think about is the destruction and violence that was also borne of the tragic death of Freddie Gray. Now the image of protest is a rock being hurled at the police in the same way that the protest of Michael Brown’s death is now summed up by the image of a burning restaurant. Is this fair? No, but it is the reality of the world that the news will only depict the most visceral scenes over and over again, regardless of how many more people showed up to clean up the mess this morning. But before we all get too justified condescending to the communities of color that spawn bad seeds, let’s not forget that the other redefinitions that are going on.
The police are the members of our community whom we all entrust to keep us safe. They’re the people we call first in times of extreme duress… or rather that’s what they’re supposed to be. Our boys and girls in blue cannot do their job if the very idea of the police is redefined into a terrifying monster that only appears to make things worse in your life. I think any fair minded person would have to recognize that it’s the few bad apples that are spoiling the bunch, but then the same would have to be said of those corrupting the protests. In both cases, it’s not enough to simply acknowledge that it’s just those annoying few that are the problem, we actually need to address the problem. Too often, the police are empowered only enough to crack down on people without being able to become a part of the community, a trusted extension of who we are. Too often, the rules that the police are forced to operate under, crack down on the poor instead of working to eliminate poverty. And unfortunately, many precincts are not adequately funded to attract and train the right kinds of police officers. This is why those few bad apples are allowed to exist, because it’s either put up with that jerk who wants to act like he has all the power in the world or go out on the beat without any backup.
But more than anything else, it’s the redefinition of “caring” that perturbs me most. People seem only capable of caring about something for a matter of minutes, and I don’t know if that is a dramatic shift from how things used to be, but darned if it didn’t seem like we were able to focus on things for longer than the length of a snapchat video. Give it a couple days and no one will remember the name Freddie Gray, give it a week and no one will even remember the Baltimore Riots. There will be some new story, some new distraction and everything will remain as unresolved as ever. It gets that much harder to hold onto hope that we will finally say enough is enough on darn near anything of importance. But it’s not simply a matter of not caring enough to pay attention, the very idea of what it is to care about people has become so obtuse as to basically be meaningless.
We don’t care about our fellow Americans living on the other side of the tracks. We don’t care about how they live and what they may be dealing with. All we want to do is to either feel a momentary sense of superiority in seeing our fellow human beings struggling with problems that we refuse to understand, or else in the case of a natural disaster like that of Nepal, to simply throw about $5 at it and make a short tweet. It’s impossible to feel deep empathy for everyone all the time, but this is being taken as an excuse to simply ignore problems and ignore people. And until we can reclaim these basic definitions we won’t be able to address racial disparities, the limits of the police force, marriage equality, income inequality, or really any other important issue.